Robert’s Rules to the rescue!!

May 27, 2008
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Calvin and Hobbes

May 22, 2008
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Funeral Directors Catalogue Item #2

May 14, 2008
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Underwater Cemetary

50 Things to do in a Elevator

May 14, 2008
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  1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
  3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you, just shut UP!”
  4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
  5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
  6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
  7. Shave.
  8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
  9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.  Wear yours upside-down.
  10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. (more…)

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Have you heard the one about the African American, the White woman, and the Old Man running for President…

May 12, 2008
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Seriously, the 2008 presidential race is turning out to be a joke.

It’s goin to be even funner when they announce their running mates.

I have a feeling Ole Joe (Lieberman) threw his hat in the ring for McCain today. 

Anybody else get the sinking feeling that this is just some bad joke, waiting for the other shoe to drop?  I am so not looking forward to the next few months of “this paid political ad was brought to you by supporters of Obama/OJ.Simpson for office.”

The sad part is being against Obama is nothing racial.  If it was Condelezza Rice, Colon Powell, Tiger Woods, or Bill Crosby, they would probably get my vote.  It is about issues, and the fact that I don’t want a president whose name rhymes with Osama.  Can you just imagine all the bad songs that are going to be written about that in the next four years if he gets president.  I mean, how many times can you rhyme Obama with Yo’Mama without sounding lame. 

The first African American President.  The First Woman President.  The Oldest President Elected.  Shoot, we ought to elect Michael Jackson, he fits all three descriptions.

Seriously, if we are so concerned about electing someone unique, let’s try to find one that has some experiance in the oil industry and maybe he can do something about gas prices.  Oh wait….  too late.  We’ve already tried that one. 

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Time Share Saints

May 6, 2008
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Things that get donated to the Church Garage Sale Catagory.

March 13, 2008
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Cookie Monsters!!! Con artists rip off Girl scouts.

March 11, 2008
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According to a MSNBC report, A couple uses the girl scouts to launder a counterfiet hundred doller bill.   Please allow for a short dramatization on what might have took place.

Somewhere deep in the underworld of counterfeit masterminds, someone asked the question, “I wonder where we can get rid of this Hundy that is shorter then all the others.” 

“Hey, Boss.” squeaked a nearby muscle, “We could try Luigi’s Pizza Parlor, again.” 

“Too risky,” replied the Boss.  “Somebody give me something here.”

“Well, We could try the Ice Cream Truck again,” Moe said, as he chomped on his calzone.

“Nah, Moe, I think he may be on to us,”Said Freido, “How about the Library”

Moe shook his head, “I tried them already, they won’t break a hundy.”

Finally the lone woman in the room, stood up.  She had an idea. 

“How about a group that is always out to get your money?”

“Yeah?” asked the Boss.

“How about a group that hits you up every time you see them?”

“Sounds good,” said Mo.

“How about a group that attacks the health of America.”

 “Righto,” Piped Freido.

“Gentlemen, our target, ” Lisa Maria took a deep breath, “is the Girl scouts.”

Seriously, I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hit the Girl Scouts.  I hope it was a box of mints.  Those things are nasty.  🙂


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