Funeral Director’s Catalogue Item #5

May 21, 2008
Leave a Comment

I’m Loving it!

 


Thieves steal 2,000 pound anchor, nobody notices

May 19, 2008
1 Comment

MILWAUKEE – The theft of a 6-foot-tall anchor, possibly weighing 2,000 pounds from a Naval Reservist Station has many in the western Wisconsin city of La Crosse shaking their heads.

Not only are they asking why and how it was stolen, but they wonder why no one noticed for months, even though the anchor is in a residential area, facing a well-traveled street.

Tom Sweeney said the subject came up last Wednesday at a meeting of the Naval Reservist Oversight Committee, which he chairs. The committee, which owns the anchor, is planning a memorial at the station.

The city took possession of the building earlier this year after the station closed. It last had drills in 2006.

A committee member asked where the gray-blue anchor went, said Sweeney, a city councilman whose district includes the station.

“And I said, ‘What do you mean ‘Where’s the anchor’?'” he said. (more…)


Posted in Humor

Funeral Director’s Catalogue Item #4

May 15, 2008
Leave a Comment

Aggresive Advertising. 


Funeral Director’s Catalogue Item #3

May 15, 2008
Leave a Comment

Almost New.  Hardly Used.


Funeral Directors Catalogue Item #2

May 14, 2008
1 Comment

Underwater Cemetary


Funeral Directors Catalogue Item #1

May 12, 2008
Leave a Comment

Tombstones with Bar Codes.

 


MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME . . .

May 11, 2008
1 Comment

25 things my Mother taught me.

1.    My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
       “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2.    My mother taught me RELIGION.
       “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3.    My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
       “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4.    My mother taught me LOGIC.
       “Because I said so, that’s why.”

5.    My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
       “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
      
6.    My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
       “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
      
7.    My mother taught me IRONY.
       “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8.    My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
       “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9.    My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
       “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10.  My mother taught me about STAMINA.
       “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11.  My mother taught me about WEATHER.
       “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12.  My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
       “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13.  My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
       “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

(more…)


Posted in Humor

Sweet Old Couple

May 11, 2008
Leave a Comment

 


Posted in Humor

Nashville preparing for Derf Savid.

March 18, 2008
Leave a Comment

005_2a.jpgAs news came over the wire late last night, that the incredible man of the cloth, Derf Savid, was coming to their town, many of the resteraunts moved into code red. With less then a week to prepare food for this great appetite, the whole city of Nashville has rallied together in unity, so they can be ready. U.P.S. and Fed Ex have joined forces to deliver the proper necessities the resteraunts will need. Thy are temporarily calling themselves F.E.D.U.P.. The Grocery stores are renting out their refridge units to the resteraunts so that they can store the extra vittles. The Mayor of Nashville has declared next Thursday as Derf Savid day. Hank Williams Jr is going to present him with the fork of the city. The city is obviously excited about his appearing. Or at the very least all the brothren that know him are excited that he is getting to go. 🙂


Posted in Humor

Woman sits on pot for 2 years.

March 13, 2008
Leave a Comment

Here is the story from MSNBC.

I must refrain from commenting on this, except to say that I have felt that I have had a “Bathroom” ministry for years.  I never knew that there was an actual need for it. 


Posted in Humor
Next Page »