Joke #3

May 19, 2008

 One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him
it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, “I’m not

“Why not?” she asked.

I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me,
and two,I don’t like them.”

His mother replied, “I’ll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD
go to church. (1) You’re 59 years old, and (2) you’re the pastor!”


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Joke #2

May 19, 2008
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 An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly
usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
“Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.
“The front row please,” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do  that,” the usher said. “The pastor is
really boring.”
“Do you  happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No.” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No.” she said.
“Good,” he answered.

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How dumb is he?

May 8, 2008
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied,”Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

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